Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
