She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
