Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If that was your dad, he is hot
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
