is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
