nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
