At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
