Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
