The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
