Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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