ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
