I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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