I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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