ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
