You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
