I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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