I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
