So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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