who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
