so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am available for nakedness
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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