how can u be prego again
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
