Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
