1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
