thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
