I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
