i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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