I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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