we have pet lesbian snakes
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
