Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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