walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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