I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
