It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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