i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
