Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
