I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish i was in the wii world.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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