Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
