why didn't you poke me back
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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