Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
