omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
