hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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