Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
