I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
