Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
