There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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