sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
