i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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