What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
