I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
