Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
