So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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