i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If I die, sorry about rent.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
