google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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