he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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